By

The Committee

This is going to be a controversial one.

Committee’s Notes:

It was a Real Good Week in a Real Good League, and it’s time to break down exactly how it went down. This week really had it all. Fittingly, this week will be the season debut of the dreaded Red Tier. Not a tier you want to find yourself in.

We are going to address the Gals ranking here so it doesn’t take up their entire spot, plus it’ll be funny when they skip past all this and immediately question why they’re ranked where they are: We will be the first to acknowledge they are not going to like this one bit. However, we can confirm, we checked the math and the calcs (short for calculator) and all that, and this is an accurate ranking. We’re sure they’ll be frustrated they aren’t in the Purple Tier after their performance in week 4, so let us remind everyone: the power rankings are heavily weighted on overall points scored, your highest scoring week, and your lowest scoring week. The 99.76 points stinker from week 2 is still haunting them, and will until the teams above them have equally poor performances in a week. Your lowest weekly total stays in the calculation foooooreeeeeverrrrrr. Enjoy the rankings everyone.

Purple Tier:

1. UnderdogIsaac

Just give us a minute to explain ourselves, okay? Yes, he’s on a 2-game losing streak and fourth in the playoff race. But that was just unlucky. He is lapping the field in points scored and has been in the top-half of scoring every single week. Only being 2-2 is very unfortunate in that case, and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer GM. We are a bit concerned that it might be getting to him though, as he’s now John Deere-posting in the group chat. What is going on?? It goes without saying, but it’s practically a must-win against I Gotta Thielen in week 5 and he has to do it without Mahomes (BYE) or Joe Mixon (not on a football team). Let’s see if he can get it done.

Blue Tier :

2. Rickety Cricket

Welcome to part 1 of the Cherry Street Tiers. Rickety Cricket got married over the weekend, and the Hutchins sent their regards Monday night when Bijan and Vele turned it into a real Red Wedding and slit Pat’s throat. You know you probably have a Real Good Team when you only get 7.50 points from Davante Adams and Emeka Egbuka and you comfortably blow the doors off Yolo Masters 420. I mean, it was never even in doubt. Just got absolutely boat-raced. It’s his second-straight week in the Blue Tier, and some GMs would argue that’s the exact tier you want to be in.

3. Big Boutte Hoes

What a coincidence, another GM got married last weekend! What are the odds of that? We are told that Saturday was the best day of Destinee’s life for one day, until Tet scored 38.20 points Sunday night. Now that’s the best day of her life. Lucas, you topped the list for about 30 hours, that’s not too bad. One more thing we need to discuss. You may think the Gals are getting a little cocky in the group chat, talking about their perfect management of week 4. Let us tell you, that isn’t even 10% of the hubris we are seeing on C Street right now. They are shopping for matching championships bracelets because they “don’t like the belt.” Guys, it’s WEEK FOUR. Man, they love Nico Collins!

Green Tier:

4. Swag Master YOLO Squad

Guys, Cherry Street is a combined NINE and THREE so far, and 2 of those losses are to Cherry Street. They’re 7-1 against the rest of you bozos. You hear folks talking about other streets and it’s like give it a rest buddy. C Street on top. A couple start/sit decisions here that ended up being pretty unfortunate, but it’s all good in the hood when you’ve got 3 teams that could bring the belt home to C Street this year. (Top-4 score and a loss wah wah woe is me!!)

Light Green Tier:

5. Yolo Masters 420

Ladies and gentlemen, he started Travis Kelce again. All this bitching and moaning, but he started 2 tight ends again, including Travis Kelce, after we warned him not to for 2 weeks, and he lost by fewer than 6 points. Rome Odunze, his 7th round draft pick (that’s a starter!) got the week off and scored the points he needed to win this one while sitting on the bench. This situation is exactly why a Real Good League like this needs Real Good Rankings, because this isn’t getting any news coverage and the fact that Pat is crying his eyes out over the loss is laugh-out-loud (yes, LOL) funny. HE’S 37!!!!

Yellow Tier:

6. Team jebboc

Whew, that was a close one! The way Cobb won this week is probably exactly how a serial killer or sociopath would win every week if they had the choice. Just pure psychological torment. Stringing Cam along game after game, hour after hour, and ripping his heart out just as the Sunday Scaries are setting in. Brutal. It was a big win for the squad and it rights the ship for them as they head into what is likely another great matchup vs. Rickety Cricket in week 5. Should be a fun one. (Ceedee Lamb 17 catches holy smokes!)

7. teddyb_h2o

We were soooo close to the Yellow Tier being the Capron Tier, and that would’ve been front-page news in Tilty Tuesdays. This was a gut-wrenching loss in a matchup that teddyb_h2o really needed to win. They fall to 1-3 now, and their negative Luck Score protects them from falling down into the Orange Tier for at least this week. Oh, what could have been. Not only did Cam have to watch Goff get Cobb exactly what he needed to win Sunday Night, then he got treated to Brian Robinson (1.o1 btw) dropping 26.60 points on his bench on Monday Night Football. I’m not sure if we’ve seen a regular season loss this painful. To make matters worse, he needs to bounce back next week missing Saquon and KW3. It’ll be a tall task.

Orange Tier:

8. I Gotta Thielen

The lowest-scoring performance in week 4 drops I Gotta Thielen down to eighth place in the Orange Tier. It’s pretty shocking if you think about it, this team is not very banged up at all while the league is just getting hammered with injuries. And yet, he’s still in the Orange Tier. The math isn’t really mathing there if you ask us, but what do we know? He has guys on his bench you’ve never even heard of – Seth McGowan? That’s a running back on a rebuilding dynasty roster, not a championship-winning team in a Real Good League!

9. THE Red Barons

It was a big week for THE Red Barons leading to their first win of the season, and they got exactly what they needed from their squad to get the job done. Alvin Kamara made the matchup look closer than it was, and if Drake Maye and Kyle “Now Here’s a Guy” Monangai were in the lineup it could’ve been a slaughter. Puka coming back and putting up 9 catches for 125 yards plus a rushing TD doesn’t hurt either. They’ve got some climbing of the rankings to do if they want to get back into it fully, but they could start stacking up some wins here.

Red Tier:

10. Bulldozer Bork

It’s one thing to be at the bottom of the rankings with only one win through four weeks. Let us be clear, that’s bad. Even worse is the fact that he didn’t deserve to win a single matchup. This is the luckiest GM in the league currently and he’s in last place. Holy shit! Either way, he got the win this week and he absolutely had to. Chase needs to clear concussion protocol fast so he has a shot next week. It might not be as bad as it looks. Maybe.

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