PKFCFFL

Thursday Thots
Guys, we are 1/3 of the way through the 2026 PKFCFFL regular season, that was kicked off with Gene Steratore not only gifting Rickety Cricket with the 1.01 (which he fumbled HARD) but also some professional insight on the Pennsylvania dew levels in late August and some wonderful takes on AI and the well-known analytical bullshit. This year is flying by, to put it into perspective, 6 of us have already played 33% of games this year and at least 1 of us has lost to C-Street two weeks in a row. Time flies, life is short, grind out each week, and RIP Mike Ditka.

Song of the Day: Mr. Telephone Man – New Edition

#5 – RJ Harvey

The only thing more disappointing than RJ Harvey’s 1.00 point week is finding out the “R” in “RJ” stands for Robert. Robert Harvey Jr. is his full name, and somehow we landed on RJ Harvey, make that make sense. Now Robert, he has lost the right to be called RJ, had a tough go on the pitch, he faced maybe the saddest team in the league in the Chargers and tallied up a sick 7 total yards. He had more catches (10) last week than total yards (7) this week. This is the type of shit that has people calling you Robert instead of RJ. I gotta Thielen that we won’t see Robert in too many lineups going forward, sad day for all the Robert enjoyers out there.

#4 – Tee Higgins

Tee Higgins may have had a bad week, but did you know his real name is Tamaurice Higgins? Now THAT is a cool name, it’s a rarity to see a guy with a cool nickname and a cool actual name, that is a skill you can’t teach. Unfortunately for Tee he played more like a Robert and less like a Tamaurice. Blame it on injuries, blame it on the matchup, blame it on the goose, but he was not feeling loose. If Jamie Foxx can not only drop a full album, but drop a certified HEATER like Blame It, I think Tee Higgins can bounce back, maybe. I think that Jamie Foxx is overall more talented than Tee Higgins. I may have to write in Jamie Foxx next year and take him with my first pick but actually mean to draft Brian Robinson but actually mean to draft Bijan Robinson. The class 3-for-1 pick, they will never see it coming.

#3 – Bo Nix

Any guesses as to Bo Nix’ real name is? It’s Bo, more like Bo-ring am I right?. Similar to his teammate Robert Harvey, he had the benefit of player the Chargers, who are ass, and yet still found a way to suck. For a guy who touches the ball on every offensive play, you’d surely hope that he would get you more than 9 points. Not in Bo’s world, in Bo’s world he is king and that means he can suck as much as he wants and there is nothing we can do about it. You could say that the Chargers had one of the best defenses last year, it is a free country, but as an American I will tell you that you are wrong with zero evidence to back it up. I’m dug in, and I don’t have to change. Rock, flag, and eagle!

# 2 CeeDee Lamb

Cedarian DeLeon Lamb, we will get that one out of the way early (10/10 name btw). Me, personally, I am not a CeeDee guy, I HATE points and boy oh boy does this guy put up some points…most of the time. Was I happy to see CeeDee put up a stinker against my team, yes. Was I happy to see CeeDee missed time with an injury and could miss more time? My PR teams says I am not supposed support players getting hurt, so no comment, but yes. Will CeeDee get back to scoring an absurd amount of points? I am sure he will, but he will be doing it knowing he was the #2 Thot in the Thursday Thots Pt. 4, and I know deep down that is what will drive him to get back out there. So, you’re welcome CeeDee, and feel free to get hurt again week 14.

#1 – Tyler Shough

That may be his name, but I am herby declaring his last name be changed from Shough (pronounced ‘Shuck’) to now be Sough (pronounced ‘Suck’). I don’t think we’ve ever seen a QB play a full game and come out with NEGATIVE fantasy points. This is probably the only NFL feat I could do on my own. Hey coach, need me to go out and throw for less than 100 years and 2 picks? Yea, sure, no problem, easy peasy. You know who scored more fantasy points than Tyler Shough this week? Literally everybody on the planet. My stat line my Sunday? 2 waters, 1 diet Dr. Pepper, 10 hours on the couch, sub 1,000 steps and 0 fantasy points, that is somehow more fantasy points than this guy got. What hurts the most is that it happened on Bulldozer’s team. Life is tough enough when your team is under performing but it’s a real kick in the Digh (pronounced ‘dick’) when your QB fails to get you positive points. If Bulldozer gets gifted a pair of chode jeans we will have to start doing some wellness checks, fuckin junk.

Honorary Mention: Romeo Doubs. Things we are paying him $64 million dollars to do: catch the football. Something Romeo Doubs simply refuses to do: catch the football.