Committee’s Notes:
We have an exciting announcement to make! This week, we have gotten input from an industry-leading anonymous GM for some of our rankings (it will likely be tough to figure out who it is, so don’t even bother trying). The Green Tier is looking pretty crowded, and it’s time to find out who’s moving up and who’s moving down. Our GM guest will give these teams the insights they need to go in the right direction from here.
Purple Tier:
1. UnderdogIsaac
The power score at this point is pretty preposterous. The top score at the end of last year was 156. This is a liiiittle bit higher than that. The starters on this team are up there with the best teams we’ve seen and the only real worry is depth (except at the QB position). It’s flown under the radar a bit to this point, but the health of this team is a big contributor to their success so far in a season when so many squads have been decimated by injury. We’ve always said the best ability is availability – having the WR1 and WR2 through five weeks is a pretty good ability too, though. It’s very improbable for them to have lost at all this year, let alone twice.
Blue Tier :
2. Big Boutte Hoes
The Gals have moved up in the C Street Tier this week after the beatdown the put on Pat. Gibbs, Warren, and Allen (not Josh) led the way as they cruised to this victory, despite a solid showing from Pat’s squad. We’ll give them a little bit of credit, too – drafted as the 21st RB off the board, Tuten has delivered RB16 value through the start of the season – what a value! And with Tet coming off BYE this week, there is a chance that there is nobody more excited for the Carolina Panthers to play football than these two.
3. Rickety Cricket
We always say it’s a rather astute idea to start 2 TEs. Not sure why more GMs don’t do this, but Warren and Likely led from the front in this victory and the rest of their team did their jobs to get it done vs. team jebboc. Next week’s matchup vs. teddyb_h2o should be nothing short of a banger.
AJ Brown joining this squad next week:
Green Tier:
Like we said at the top, for those that just scroll to their section, we have an elite GM who has graciously given their input on how to separate from the pack for these green teamers. Make sure you read his insights as well:
Here I am thinking “where the living hell are the rankings” and then I realize okay it’s me who is causing this serious delay. Any way, it’s like my mom always said, you gotta separate the real from the fakes. You go down the list and you see a lot of reals (me, girls (2/7th of cherry), lucas (measly 1/7th but wouldn’t hold it against him)) at the top, some fakes at the bottom (“for 1 FAAB donation a day you could hopefully put some talent on Arron’s bench” type shi)…then you got a tall task in the middle. The greenies (shout out the treats. Nothing like good dental health. Let’s see could I go one sentence without a parenthesis? Idk maybe). Cams team: hurt like a mug. Can’t catch a break until he complains so much that they finally give him a break. He is pretty good for 110-120. If you can’t score more than that then hit the road dude, this is private property. Saquon and waddle are proving to be annoying starts and we all feel so bad for the most decorated friend leaguer there is. Then you got Pat who for all intents and purposes can’t win a match if it’s handed to him on a golden platter. Loses to Lucas in a blow out loss. Loses to the girls in a closer matchup. There saying Pat got “Warren”’d but I call it “Rico dowdle’s backup”’d. I heard the public execution was supposed to happen soon but after last week I think I’ve seen enough of the public deaths. Worst part? After I trounced him he put up numbers and let people know why he held the belt not to long ago. He has had injuries tho and probably would have beaten Lucas had 🏎️ 🍚 not gotten hurt. He should have his get right game against Justin…but if Justin wins then I think Pat will be wearing those Mickey Ears instead of a belt. Then big a. A critically acclaimed gm. He has been either scoring 120 or scoring 80s -90s. It wont cut it man and you should know better by know. Lots of chatter about Rico in the 7th (even typing makes me sick) but he and your team have a lot in common: constantly fucking injured. If I had a buck for every guy questionable in your bench I’d be able to get a small fry at Mickey Ds. Are you putting the fries in the bag??? Potensh, but even with Amon ra out you got Arron “my team will never do this again” Bork. You gotta wonder tho. Is Arron bringing his 110 monster week to your lowly 80s? This is a must win for you. Then finally Bosh. This is a team that should be crushed this week, but then you look at the facts. His team is fucking good. Puka is back and better than ever. Monongai might be back. He has Maye sitting on his bench like an animal. DK (shout out to the trade that broke the league) doesn’t even need to start because of 🧊 Coker. Kincaid can’t make a catch but if he does he’ll get double xp it feels like. I’d say he needs another win under his belt but when goes to look under his belt it’ll be gone, because I’m going BELT.2.ASS on him this week. Gl Green monsters.
4. Swag Master YOLO Squad
This was a truly miserable performance. Not making excuses here, but the health of this team is currently a five-alarm fire. They played this week without their 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 9th round picks… and nobody was on BYE let’s put it that way. This is a crisis and they need some of these guys to get back on the field if they’re going to have a shot. Their chances aren’t looking good with Sun God on a BYE week as well. Yikes. With the matchup against last-place Bork, if they don’t get it done this week the season may be over.
5. Yolo Masters 420
It’s a shame to see a GM score in the top half of the league and not get a W. We really hate to see it. We like their chances next week when they have the opportunity to start 2 tight ends again – Kelce being on a BYE is really the only thing that held this stud alert GM back. In a 2-3 matchup vs. I Gotta Thielen next week, it’s starting to feel like the season is only the line pretty early. 2-4 would be a tough high to climb.
6. teddyb_h2o
It’s like Groundhog Day every year with this guy. You can literally write the script:
Eventually, you would expect us to learn our lesson, but we don’t. At this point it is genuinely shocking that there was ever a doubt about what would happen this week. No Kenneth Walker, no Saquon either. Jesus Christ WE HATE THIS GUY!!!
7. THE Red Barons
It was a great week for THE Red Barons and their 76 point differential was the biggest beatdown of the week. It could’ve been even more of a slaughter had they started Drake Maye, but TLaw did his job and having both of those studs isn’t something that any GM is going to complain about. Puka is all the way back and continues to get an unbelievable amount of targets/catches when he’s on the field. We had a ticker tape parade for Lamb last week when he got 17 catches. Puka does the same and it’s like yeah… he’s supposed to do that. (That was the most catches of his career to be fair.) Bucky Irving also had the performance of his lifetime… these guys must hate Bork.
Light Green Tier:
8. Team jebboc
This is not the outcome team jebboc was hoping for, with Ceedee having a massive regression from his week 4 performance – dropping from 17 catches to only 2. and from 189 yards to 9. Aside from Ceedee’s massive point swing, this has been a pretty consistent squad thus far, with only a 20 point difference in their season-high and season-low performances. It’s an interesting case study, because they are nearly tied with Rickety Cricket in that stat, and they are off to pretty different starts so far. I guess Lucas doing it while scoring 15 more points per week helps. There’s been a big argument in fantasy about whether boom-bust or consistency is best. I guess time will tell here!
Yellow Tier:
9. I Gotta Thielen
This is not what you’re looking for if you’re a real good GM and some folks would argue that Justin is! Isn’t that funny. We’ll humor those individuals and say that in that case, this is not what you’re looking for! It’s one of those weeks when, like the Buffalo Bills, Justin is asking himself where the hell he would even be without Josh Allen. FIVE players with fewer than THREE points scored this week. Jeepers creepers, at least Marvin Harrison Jr. is a Texan now. That will fix this mess.
Orange Tier:
10. Bulldozer Bork
This was one of the most pathetic losses we’ve ever seen in this Real Good League. Jamarr Chase was the only player to hit double digits for this squad this week, and now that it’s been a few days can we admit that he got lucky to catch that touchdown? It hit him in the shoulder for cripes sakes! This team is a train wreck and we will not be talking about them further until they win again. See you next week when they beat Swag Master YOLO Squad.
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